Transtar's Regulations for Morgan Yu
by Anhilliator1
Summary: After multiple complaints from various staff around the station, it's been decided that a list of rules for Morgan Yu is to be made. Morgan, if you're reading this, you brought this upon yourself. - Sarah Elezar. (POST-GAME)


1-. Morgan Yu is not allowed to edit this document at any time.

-1a. Neither is January.

-1b. Or December.

-1b. Not allowed to use Mindjack to get access to this document, either.

2\. Not allowed to mimic the appearance of any member of staff. It's confusing enough as is with one of them.

-2a. As of the "Elvis Lives" incident, Morgan is banned from mimicking the appearance and voice of anyone, living or dead.

3\. Not allowed to shift into Typhon form without prior warning. You got shot last time. _Don't do it again._

4\. Not allowed to toss recycler charges into storage rooms.

-4a. No throwing charges into toilets either. "Mimics hide in toilets" is not a valid excuse.

5\. Don't touch the post-it notes.

6\. Banned from using Mindjack on the Dungeon Master.

-6a. Even if the other players beg.

7\. Banned from using Machine Mind to put porn on -my- -Ford's- -Clausen's- _ANYONE'S_ computer. Period.

8\. Nullwave Transmitters are not "Delta Wave Generators," no matter how much Morgan insists that they are.

9\. "My brother is your boss" is no longer a valid excuse.

10\. No, Morgan, not everything is a Mimic. Stop hitting coffee cups with a wrench.

11\. Not allowed to use the GLOO gun to make obstacles for others.

12\. Not allowed to make unauthorized neuromods. There is no good reason for you to be able to weave coral all over the place.

13\. Not allowed to crawl through the duct system. We have doors for a reason.

14\. No using the GLOO gun to traverse vertical space. Use the stairs. If there aren't any stairs, _you're not meant to be up there._

15\. Not allowed to mimic essential equipment when it's meant to be used.

-15a. This also means you're not allowed to mimic coffee cups, either. That incident with Bellamy in the simulation should be a good enough reason. Also because you instantly started screaming from the hot coffee the last time that happened.

16\. Just because you're currently a Typhon organism doesn't mean that you can eschew wearing a spacesuit.

17\. Banned from the simulation room. It's a piece of scientific equipment, not a virtual reality video game. Please stop treating it as such.

18\. Yes, we have Typhon in captivity. No, you are not allowed to harvest their organs. They are valuable research specimens, not farm animals.

18a. No setting them free "for shits and giggles" either.

18b. You know what, just stay out of the Typhon containment area, period.

19\. Throwing a Phantom corpse into an occupied hallway was funny exactly _once_ , and only because Clausen wound up pissing himself. Don't do it again.

20\. Quit playing matchmaker. We can worry about that _after_ we clear the Typhon crisis.

21\. Just because some of our staff use sticky notes to remember their passwords doesn't mean that you are allowed to access their workstations at any time.

21a. Stop looking at other's emails. If you're meant to see it, it'll be on your workstation.

22\. No sneaking into the morgue to make Phantoms.

23\. Stop showing off the Margrave, insisting that it is superior to all other weapons that we have on-site. It's a shotgun. It kills things. Being stupidly expensive doesn't change that.

24\. Stop throwing whatever you see laying around into a recycler. Conversely, don't craft whatever you can with whatever resources you get your hands on. There's a specific reason why it's laying around, so don't touch.

25\. Please stop mimicking turrets. The fact that you can be easily startled should speak for itself.

26\. No making Voltaic Phantoms for "extra electricity" as you kindly put it. Your "Generator containment cells" have been rejected. While very good for containment, they are supremely inefficient, and cost far more than would be justifiable. We have a bioreactor and several kilotons of spare solar cells. I think we have it handled.

27\. Please stop drawing Nightmares to the station. Yes, we know that you are more than capable of taking on one of them by yourself. Yes, they are good sources of Exotic material. The answer is still no. You vs a Nightmare has a blast radius, so to speak. There are other ways to get exotic materials.

28\. Yes, we do realize that we can't stop you from spying on meetings. That's why we invite you to all of them now. What we _would_ like you to stop, is spying on people in their quarters. This is a highly-advanced space station, not a military camp or gym locker room.

29\. No, Morgan, you can't keep the Mimic. It goes into containment like all other Typhon specimens.

30\. Whoever showed Morgan Spider-man is getting immediately reprimanded. Also, the cost for the dents is coming out of your wallet.

31\. As of the "Robot Army" incident, Morgan is to be supervised any time he asks for Operator parts. Dealing with several hundred copies of you is a nightmare that I do _not_ want to relive.

-31a. Not allowed to use Igwe as an excuse. He can make requisitions using his head, you really think he needs someone to go down to storage and grab something?

* * *

 **So, I thought it would be an interesting idea to make one of these "Skippy's list"-style fics. It's been done before, and I thought it would be a hilarious idea, especially considering Morgan's abilites as a Human-Typhon hybrid.**

 **EDIT: Just wanted to say, if you think you have a good idea, throw it out there! I can't add it if you don't tell me!**

 **EDIT 2: For those that don't know, Igwe, in game, is implied to be embedded in an Operator while his actual body is dead.**

 **By the way, I am _ta_ _king suggestions_ on what to add to this list, so submit your suggestions in the reviews! Thanks!**


End file.
